Olde Tymers Softball of Delmarva

Provided by Tom Faulkner

• There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and dip****'s.
• The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
• I live in my own little world, but it's OK. Everyone knows me here.
• I saw a very large woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Left Tackle?”
• I don't do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.
• I don't like political jokes. I've seen too many get elected.
• The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
• Every day I beat my previous record of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
• No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team's winning.
• Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
• Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
• Marriage changes passion . . . suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
• Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
• Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
• Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants
• I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't need the freakin' class!
• Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
• Wouldn't you know it! Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
• Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? 

Two 90-year-old men, Phil and Joe, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Phil was dying, Joe visited him every day.

One day Joe said, "Phil, we both loved playing softball all our lives, and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor: when you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's softball there."

Phil looked up at Joe from his deathbed and said, "Joe, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you."

Shortly after that, Phil died. A few nights later, Joe was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Joe, Joe ."

"Who is it," asked Joe, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Joe -- it's me, Phil"

"You're not Phil . Phil just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Phil," insisted the voice.

"Phil Where are you?"

"In heaven," replied Phil. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," said Joe.

"The good news," Phil said with joy and enthusiasm, "is that there is softball in heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before me are here, too. Even better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always Springtime and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play ball all we want, and we never get tired. And we get to play with all the Greats of the past."

"That's fantastic," said Joe "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?"

"You're pitching Tuesday."

 

Life is uncertain - Eat dessert first!!!

Executive Committee Minutes

January 20, 2016

The executive committee met at 1:00 January 20, 2016 on January 20, 2016. All members (Bo Wood, Dick Mullins, Keith Purdy, Tom Wendorf and Carl Pierce) were in attendance.

• As of this date we have 144 players registered. In order to facilitate scheduling and other organizational necessities necessary for the draft on April 20, the number of teams for the 2016 Summer Season will be determined based on the number of registered players as of March 21, 2016.

144 – 155 players registered – 12 teams

156 – 167 players registered – 13 teams

168 or more players registered – 14 teams

Any players registering after March 21, 2016 need only submit a registration form since they will be placed on a waiting list. The $60 fee will be collected at the time of placement on a team.

• Bo cited the need once again for managers and assistants. Manager positions for two teams have not been filled.

• Umpiring for 2016 will be handled by an Umpiring Team consisting of OTS volunteers. Dick Mullins is in charge of compiling, training and scheduling this team.

• Letters are being sent to most team sponsors thanking them for their support and asking them to sponsor a 2016 team.

• Bo reported that money was saved by getting bids on shirts and that we were able , because of good pricing, to acquire tournament and new umpire shirts as well. Expenditures also included new bases. Tarps for the pitching mounds will be bought. The home plate structure that had been considered was dropped due to an exorbitant price.

• Bo expressed concern about the number of people signed up for the Wine and Beer Tasting event at Bin 66 on January 31. The secretary was requested to contact with Mike Ohr for a check on the current status.

• Dick Mullins presented proposed changes to the By-Laws for the Executive Committee to review. Most of the changes was striking extraneous words, eliminating duplications along with clarifying some rules. A proof-reading version will be sent to 2016 managers for their review. All changes will need to be approved by the Board of Directors at a future Board meeting. A copy of the final, approved By-Laws will be given to every manager prior to the season.

Respectfully submitted,

Carl J. Pierce, Secretary

The Wine and Beer Tasting Event scheduled for January 31st has been canceled.

The Second Annual Wine and Beer Tasting Event is only 25 days away. Register now for this event by sending your checks to Carl Pierce.

The event will again be held at Bin 66 Fine Wine and Spirits in Rehoboth Beach on January 31st from 4:00 – 6:00 p.m.

Tickets are $20 per person in advance.

This proved to be a successful fundraiser last year and everyone that attended had a great time sampling wines and beers and catching up with other OTS players. Spouses, girlfriends, significant others and friends are invited to attend this event.